I was walking just after dark, down to what is known around here as the “promenade.” While many may think of a shopping mall like atmosphere, this is in fact a large plaza here in Brooklyn, built hanging over the Brooklyn-Queen Expressway (BQE), and looks out over Lower Manhattan. And while you probably still don’t know what or where I’m talking about, if you have ever seen a low angle shot of the Twin Towers, or Lower Manhattan since then, it was most probably taken from the promenade.
I introduce the setting here, because I like to walk down there often, and let my mind wonder. On this particular evening, I walked the 2 blocks to the place and was instantly caught up in “what am I going to blog about tonight?” My thoughts quickly wondered into friendship, and self-doubt. That is to say, I started to feel lonely. I’ve never been good with making friends, and I certainly have had a world of trouble really clicking with the people around here. Not to say I’m isolated, I’ve met quite a few people, and have friendly interactions with many, but there are really only 1, maybe 2 people I can call a “friend”. I started thinking about fiends back in LA, who I wanted to see, people I’ve met over the years, and who has become a life-long friend, and who has become “someone I hung out with in High School?”
It was at this point in time I reached my destination and started to see the downtown skyline, the lights, the buildings, the bridges… part of me wanted to cry. I feel I have prefaced this point with the wrong thing. I wasn’t feeling this way because of my lack of friends (I’ll elaborate later), but I can’t quite specify what it was either. Perhaps the constant wind was causing my eyes to water, perhaps it was the beauty of downtown, the happiness I was feeling for just living in such a wonderful city, some other random reason, or perhaps a mixture of everything.
It sucks that you can’t bring your friends with you where ever you go. Even with the internet, and all the on demand communication methods, the picture sharing, the blogging, the podcasting, nothing replaces doing things with those you know, and sharing experiences. It’s interesting how you can know so much about a person, yet only have been with them in person 3 or 4 times.
I called this blog entry Crossing Bridges because I was going to talk about the different ways people cross the bridge from “We hang out” to “We’re friends”.
I just don’t think I’ve been able to fully develop the thoughts I wanted to lay out. I guess I just kind of have gotten home sick, and it is affecting me more than I thought. I’m not cut off from the world, far from it, but there is something that you just don’t get from video chatting or IMing.
One of these entries is going to be devoted to either politics or poetry, so look out for that.
Oh, and just to tidy up Chicago so I get it off my mind:
Bob played great, Amos is an awesome dude to hang around, already said I need to check out more Elvis Costello, while I’ve been out with people at 4 in the morning, I’ve never been standing outside of a hotel with 4 guys over 50, ordering a pizza, and having it delivered not to a room, not to the lobby, but to “5 guys on the bench in front of the hotel,” Chicago is an awesome city and I can’t wait to go back in March, and I overall had an awesome time. Even going out for steak at 1 in the morning on the morning of my flight back that was due to depart at 8… that morning….